The Manga workshop 2010

UNREQUITED

He slams the door shut behind him and heads off into the night. She lies there naked, body and feeling. He is tired of her excuses and her lies. She’s breaking apart again inside.

 Outside, the late night city offers him cheap entertainment, just what he needs, a wildling; a mistress of the night. Cheap beers from the vending machine had stopped working their magic a long time back. Smokes from a mere imitation of a cigarette was doing just as good. He looked at the E-cig with distaste. It was a gift from her, and like her, it was an imitation of the real thing, tasteless and fake on the inside. He laughed scornfully at his own stupidity. It had been him, forcing her. Hoping someday she would want it for real. But it had long since been apparent she only does it to keep him happy. It broke him inside. He hated her for it, but he hated himself more. They walked by in twos and threes, swaying their hips in a way that said they wanted it, the short hem of their dresses leaving a hint of what was there up above. He could’ve given it to them too. Lord knows he wanted to, to a few. He stared at the shapely legs of one for a few minutes before continuing his walk, clutching the cigarette tighter, as if to choke it.   

She lay there still, unable to move. The weight of her failures had bound her to the spot. She remembered the first time he had touched her and how she had recoiled in fear. She remembered how he had pushed all of it away, one bad memory after another. His touch had made her feel like a woman, had made her feel beautiful. She was drugged by the burning want in his eyes each time and had wanted to make passionate love to him. And every time, she dared a bit more than she believed she could. And yet, she could not be the wild one he had hoped she would be. She could not conjure up sudden darings as was shown in the little porn stories he had shown her. She was she, herself. She was ‘boring’ and ‘lame’.

That night, he had wanted her to tell him how much she wanted him, how much she craved his love. And all she managed to give was a string of borrowed ideas, delivered in the most off putting way possible. He paused his thoughts, staring at another brunette. She had the most perfectly shaped pair of buttocks he had seen in a while. He would have loved to have taken her like a hound… He shakes his head and walks on.

That night, if he had told her again how badly he wanted her, she would’ve told him about how she wanted to just lay him down and make gentle love to him. If he had told her again that she was the only thing in his mind, she would have told him how badly she needed his body and his loving. In her head, she had it all figured out. She knew exactly what all she wanted…How she wanted it…What it felt like when she had it for the first time…

His touch had sent waves of emotions she could not tell apart. Her skin had felt like it was on fire. His gently fingers, as they tucked her hair away while he kissed her neck…the equal power and force with which he had entered her…She had made him her master, body and soul. Because for her, sex is not just recreation, it is something much more. She could never explain to him the importance of it without making him call her stupid again. It wasn’t like men had not wanted to bed her after she started seeing him. But she had known that no one could make her feel like he did. No one could make her laugh like he did. No one could make her love herself like he did. No one could make her arch her back like he did with a mere whisper of words in her ears, or by his slightest touch. She wanted him to possess her and let him be possessed by her. She wanted to be conquered and conquer him too. She wanted him, she wanted to be his. She failed, miserably so.  Her failures made him frustrated and more cynical.

And now, there are no more late night touches of affection, there are no more kisses and the passionate, wanting embrace. There is just occasional lust conjured by human needs and the bitterness left by un-satiated bodies…

Guised as a draught of wind in a summer’s night,

I have been shrouded by you.

Or is it just illusion gone in a moment’s passing?

As if each day’s effort drives us farther apart,

fate is laughing..

But these naked feelings can’t and won’t be banished.

And as time and human frailty rises rift and makes a wall,

I lay at mercy of a fool’s strength to carry on.

Will I hold and be held again?

Oh, I do not know.

But there is hope

and only hope can make us go on…

GAME DESIGNING SEMINAR AT PRESIDENCY

A TALK ON GAME DESIGNING FOR THE COMMON MASS. 
-with Sailesh Prabhu.

When : 13th December 2013. 17:30 to 19:00
Where : AJC Bose Auditorium, Presidency College, Kolkata.

[Sailesh Prabhu talking about indie games]

A brief about the Lecturer : Sailesh Prabhu, is a name rapidly gaining fame amongst the game developers in India and abroad along with his founded company, Yellow Monkey Studios Pvt LTD. His game 'HUEBRIX' just won him an award at the 2013 NASSCOM game developers conference in Pune.

So, what is Indie? 
Prabhu talks about the advent of the term and about how it is abused in this day and age. 'Basically, Indie is a term that was first used to denote game developers who did not have a sponsor or were not funded.' Today, 'Every start up company are calling themselves indie, so the original ones are trying to shy away from the stigma.' Then he laughs and goes on to explain that 'indie-game' is so much more than just about that. 'It is always about doing something new and original.' He also talks about the need of indie-games. About how main stream game development is about either Bollywood or Sports which have very little scope for innovation. In his presentation, he mentions the following :
Indie is

• NOT a genre
• NOT a type
• It is a culture and movement 

He also explains that even though indie games tend to have more retro art and 8 bit music, it has more to do with the developer's temperament and love of old 8-bit games than anything else.

A few noteworthy Indie games worth checking out.

Prabhu then talks about some of the new indie games string up a storm in recent times. 

JOURNEY : Journey is an indie game developed by Thatgamecompany for the PlayStation 3. It was released on March 13, 2012, via the PlayStation network. In Journey, the player controls a robed figure in a vast desert, travelling towards a mountain in the distance. What is brilliant about this game is it is also an Online Multi player. The unique thing about it is that there are no chatbox system in this game. you do not talk to the other player.  'While you are playing this game,' says Prabhu 'You form a kind of an inexplicable bond. No movie or book or anything else can make you feel what a game can.'  Below is a trailer from Journey.     

               

• THE STANLEY PARABLE  : The Stanley Parable is an interactive fiction modification (mod) built on the Source game engine, developed by Davey Wreden and released in July 2011. A high-definition remastered stand-alone version, including new story elements, was developed by Wreden and Source modeler William Pugh under the Galactic Cafe development team name. The remake was announced and approved via the Steam Greenlight process in 2012, and released in October 2013 for Microsoft Windows. Following is a trailer.

               

DEVICE 6 : A surreal thriller in which the written word is your map, as well as your narrator. DEVICE 6 plays with the conventions of games and literature, entwines story with geography and blends puzzle and novella, to draw players into an intriguing mystery of technology and neuroscience. Following is a Trailer for Device 6. 

               

THE UPS AND DOWNS OF YELLOW MONKEY STUDIO

Prabhu talks about his and Yellow Monkey Studio's journey through the ups and downs over the years. He tells the audience about how they started out with two members and how it became a group of three, then fourteen and how they reduced down to a group of two. 

Mortley - A stitch in time, is a game which never saw the daylight of production due to the lack of funding. He calls it 'being over ambitious' and speaks about how he learnt the hard way that dependence on funds or sponsors are futile. Following is a link to the trailer. (I couldn't figure out how to embed it. >__< ) 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkC86Dxmk3Q

Finger Footie, Launched in 2010 for android and Apple, it is a touch tap and tilt game for mobile devices. Prabhu talks about the problems faced during the making of the game and what he learnt from it post release:

• Limited Budget and time : not enough Research and Development.
• Few members in team
• Wrong timing : The game was released during Football World cup when all major names like Konami and Fifa launched their games. 

It's Just a Thought, is an Illustrative interactive experience which plays on mood of colour and music. Following is a trailer link :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C36Jw0jKvXI

Six months were given in research and development of this game. This was awarded Best Original idea at Hoplay 2011. Appreciated for it's music, this game had Facebook integration. 

Huebrix, is a pathway puzzler that sounds easy on the surface, but the levels become increasingly more difficult as objectives are added to the game play. it has won a NASSCOM award and has a 75/100 Metacritic rating. Following is a trailer link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTbQ8uctZx8

'Fourteen months were given in R&D' says Prabhu.

So, How does one begin? 

His advice to everyone on how to become an indie game developer was simple : 'Make games, make relations in the community and don't be afraid of a long Journey.' He says that the Indian Game Developer's community is one of the few communities were people just don't make contacts, they make friends. 'Friends who'd go out of their way to help you out in your journey.' He further advises to go out and get noticed, attend Conferences and join Forums and Developer communities.  Most importantly, he advises to be unique.

SEDION's Thoughts : Sailesh Prabhu is a talented guy with a good sense of humour. He Kept it short, Kept it concise and it was awesome!I really hope that more of such events and seminars are held in Kolkata as this town and it's people needs more exposure to clue them in on what is going on in the gaming and animation industry.

Here's wishing Yellow Monkey Studio Pvt.LTD the very best for future. 

--------------------------------------------END--------------------------------------------

 

Just when you think
life's got nothing else to teach
you fall face down to the floor
Beat into the ground again.
I've been fumbling forever
to say these few words but
I was terrified to see
the look on your face
that said DISAPPOINTED, HURT
 as if
I let you down again.

But I can't
hold it in anymore.
Nothings like it was before
so here I go

I'm back in my old blue Jeans.
Do you know what it means?
I'm tired of pretending
to be somebody else.
fumblin', trippin', makin' a mess.
when all I wanted to be
was the best of me.
the best that I could've been.


Just when you think you
got what it takes
to crawl outta the shadow of somebody else
you fall back down to the ground.
be ready to get up again.
I've been failing forever,
trying too hard
cuz I was terrified to see
the look on your face
of disappointment,hurt
as if I let you down
all over again....

Well I can't try anymore
when nothings like it was before
so let me go.

I'm back in my old blue jeans.
I'm sure you know what it means.
I'm Tired of pretending
to be somebody else.
Fumblin', trippin', makin' a mess.
When all I wanted to be
was the best of me.
The best that I could've been.

And I can't Lie anymore
nothings like it was before
Its time to go....

I'm back in my old blue Jeans.
you must've known what it all means.
Must've known all along.

Prayers

I said a prayer today
to wind ,
to come and sweep me away
with him.
from here,
to thee blue yonder.

To Golden beaches
I donot know,
To white mountains
where it snow.
to a field,
of ten thousand flowers.

Somewhere
far away to that bard,
to hear the songs
I have not yet heard.
to a far of fair,
to see the gypsies dance.

For,
The magic in the air today
bids me write a fairly tale ,
not of prince
or of queens,
but of ordinary miracles.

I said a prayer today
to wind,
to come and take me away
with him,
So I may see the world anew
and write a fairy tale for you.

Your Breath

I keep saying
sorry
for all the times I did you wrong.
I keep thinking
over
and over about the pain.
Always straining my head over how to take it all back.
flailing away to feel the strength that I lack.
 Everyday and everytime now and even when I'm gone,
I'd always want to be a song you sing in hurt.
Every time, every second
and every moment that I see.
                             to be
'Cuz I'd rather be the breath escaping through your lips
than be the silent words that hurts from within.

I keep praying
hoping
that everything will be alright
I keep failing
trying
harder every day.
Always chasing the ghosts of a half faded past
                                                               Last
 Everyday and everytime now and even when I'm gone
I'd always want to be the words you say in pain
Every time every second
and every moment that I see
                             to be
'Cuz I'd rather be the breath escaping through your lips
than be the silent words that hurts from within.

Memories of a walk in the old lane

Memories of a walk in the old lane
-----------------------------------------------
I keep dreaming
of the whitewashed house
its dew washed gardens
and its bed of rose.

My memories of a walk in the old lane
and I see us painted all around
see the smiles and the tears
hoping, somehow you are here.

I keep dreaming
of the rain sodden road
back to the beginings,
my way back home.

My memories of the half formed sweet dreams
cobwebs ladden sweet sweet dreams
and I see your face
somehow fading in a haze

I keep dreaming
of a world now far away
I was there, you were near
and it all becomes too much to bear

My memories of a walk in the old lane
and I realise time has long since closed that door back to you
locked it up and there is no more
my dear way back home.


~fins~